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The Funniest Football Club Names in Nigeria Leagues

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Names in club football is as important as the Club itself as it stands as a means of identification and branding, a sense of belonging for fans. Generally, across the world, clubs are named after the city they are based or the owner, sometimes companies and in the new world of sponsorship deals and partnerships, clubs are now named by the companies they have dealt with.

The City of Manchester is more famous for its two rival clubs in the EPL, same for FC Barcelona and the rivals in the capital city of Madrid which houses Atletico and Real Madrid. Also, Red Bull, an energy drink manufacturing company has clubs in Germany (RB Leipzig), Austria (RB Salzburg), Brazil (RB Brasil) etc, to show how deep sponsorship deals have gone in club identification.

In Nigeria, the case is not different as clubs are majorly named after States and cities, due to the non-existence of sponsorship deals in the league, private clubs are majorly named after their proprietors or cities based and most recently clubs are getting owned by churches thus leading to clubs named after churches.

However, amidst some pretty cool names like some names that would make you stop and think again and sometimes spark a smile and once in a while, short laughter. The State finals of the Aiteo Cup held across the country brought up names which makes one wonder the level of creativity or the none existence of it while considering names of clubs.

Here we take a look at some of the funniest names we found in the state FA cup and the local leagues.

Box to Box FC

Location: Lagos
Level: Non-league

Yes, you saw that right, Box to Box FC, understandable that the FA permits club owners to use any names they prefer without any laid down guidelines or rules but this sounds like a name coined out of disinterest to think deep in creating a name for a football club.

“Basically football is played from your box to the opponent’s box in search of a goal, it’s a box to box game“- this is me trying to imagine the explanation whoever coined the name will try to give if probed. Or maybe he was staring at a pack of boxes while thinking of a name- who knows?! *Shrugs*

More interestingly, they literally and practically “boxedMFM FC in the Lagos State FA Cup final clinching the title with a 2-1 victory. I don’t know which is more interesting, the nature of their victory or the nature of their name!

Qutar Waters

Location: Borno State
Level: Non-league

Now this name sounds like a country or more logical, the name of a River in Borno (I wonder if there is any at all) then the only other meaningful explanation I could give to this after serious research is that maybe it’s actually a “pure-–” sorry, Sachet water company that owns and runs the club.

Other than that, I wonder what else it could mean, maybe a trip to Borno will shed more light on this name, however as i have a busy schedule the trip will be postponed until “further” notice. Thank you.

Confine FC

Location: Ikot Ekpene, Akwa Ibom
Level: Nationwide League One

Seriously? Confine FC? Ok good, according to an online dictionary “Confine” means “To restrict; to keep within bounds; to shut or keep in a limited space or area”.

This Got me wondering if the person who named the Club was “Grounded” or in a police cell while naming the club. Ikot FC would have been better, isn’t it? Whose with me?

Rarara FC

Location: Katsina
Level: Nigeria National League

Rarara what? Okay “Rarara” in Yoruba is roughly translated to “No No No“, used to show refusal of a suggestion, of all the names on the list, this seems to be the least creative of all, I mean the owner basically repeated two letters twice, he could as well have repeated the letters 7 times.

I guess it’s beyond my understanding the logic behind picking this as a club name. I wonder what Rarara means in Hausa or Igbo. A similar name is Malumfashi FC but the fact that it is named after a local government in Katsina state saves it from further backlash but then for the sake of broadcasters who may bite their tongues while attempting a pronunciation, they should have done better with the naming.

Go Round FC

Location: Omoku (River)
Level: NPFL

You never thought NPFL club sides would have their tables shaken, did you? But anyone ever wondered what made a certain club owner name his team “Go Round“, I wonder what he means by the statement “Go Round”, who he is directing to move in circles and what he should go round?

Oops my bad, actually forgotten that “Go Round” is now a noun.

God Deliver Me Bible Church Fc

Location: Ogun
Level: Non-League

This is a club side that could turn a sports show to a religious program without fuss. In as much as the team is owned by a church, there are better options which would still show a hint of the religious owner. This sounds more like a prayer point than a name.

At least there are alternative short religious names that can be used, e.g “Saints FC“, remember Welsh league Champions The New Saints“(TNS), however, God Deliver Me when abbreviated is still as awkward as ever and not as awesome as (TNS), pronounce GDMBC interesting isn’t it?

It’s not limited to Nigeria, ever find West Bromwich Albion easy to pronounce? Stoke city? Dundee United sounds like a team of retards in Nigeria. “Always Ready FC” in Bolivia; Every team should always be ready to play football so it is therefore sensible to have it as your team name as well as a mantra.

In Zimbabwe there is a club named Triangle FC as well as Chicken Inn; Unsurprisingly, this club is named after its sponsor, a fast food chain. But money buys success, and the club became national champions in 2015

Naughty Boys; I really don’t know how the naming process works for Botswanan football teams but I imagine for this team it went something on the lines of, “you are a boisterous lot, therefore you will be called naughty boys”?

Hafnarfjordur FC is a club you would not want to call without the fear of biting your tongue.

Any other funny named football club, home or abroad that you know drop it in the comments section.

 

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Daniel is a passionate lover of Nigerian football. Follows local football and the national teams religiously. Aside from writing, he also does Sports analysis on Radio. Write to me on danycrusoe@gmail.com or follow me on twitter@danycrusoe95

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