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15 Funniest Names In Football As Of 2018-21

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Which player do you think has the funniest name in football?

Once in a while in life, you have to be content with your lot. I for one, am definitely happy with the name given to me, but some of these footballers unquestionably have justification to file a child abuse case. I assume it has given them a tad of fame if nothing else.

This is surely true in the world of funny football names.

This article was first published on February 26, 2018, just bringing it back to the audience.

CheapGoals compiled a list of the 15 funniest names in football.

It’s neither big nor clever to laugh at funny names but nevertheless remains stubbornly amusing. Take a look and see if one of these tickles your funny bone. Or, perhaps, one will motivate you to concoct your very own name.

Daley Blind

15 Funniest Names In Football As Of 2018-21 23

Dutch and Ajax defender Daley Blind is nothing compared with his name as he has struggled hard to secure a starting line-up under Jose Mourinho. This is a direct result of his immeasurable foresight to defend against average opponents.  is he technically blind?

Danny Drinkwater

15 Funniest Names In Football As At 2018-21

The Premier League introduced drinks breaks in 2015, and the Internet couldn’t get enough of this exceptionally thirsty Chelsea player. Thinking of getting a fitness trainer?  This midfielder always reminds us all to stay hydrated.

Dean Whitehead

15 Funniest Names In Football As At 2018-21

Whitehead is an English footballer who plays as a midfielder for Huddersfield Town. his surname ( Whitehead ) has made him more prevalent than his professional career. Next time, if your abilities don’t make you famous just change your name to an amusing one.

READ ALSO: Top 10 Most Decorated Players In Football

Fabian Assman

15 Funniest Names In Football As At 2018-21

This Argentine goalkeeper prefers his first name Fabian, his name is very apt and to be fair, everyone has their own sexual preference, right?

Bongo Christ

15 Funniest Names In Football As Of 2018-21 24

Forget Jesus Christ, Bongo Christ is the new name on the block. The Congolese striker played for a host of clubs including Hannover 96 and SV Wilhelmshaven. When next you’re scared just say the name ‘Bongo’.

Rat

15 Funniest Names In Football As Of 2018-21 25

Răzvan Dincă Raț is a Romanian Rat, oh sorry, a footballer who plays for Spanish club Rayo Vallecano as a left-back. He doesn’t move like a rodent, nor have a keen sense of smell to sniff dirty kits, don’t know why he is called that.

John Dick

15 Funniest Names In Football As Of 2018-21 26

Johnny Don’t be a dick! Well, this is extraordinarily amusing, John played more than 250 games for Arsenal during the mid-1900s.

In an extremely well-known article, a daily newspaper in London printed the headline saying “ARSENAL TO PLAY TOMORROW WITH DICKS OUT“.

As hilarious as it might sound, it went ahead to be a huge joke, which wasn’t forgotten for a long time!

Norman Conquest

15 Funniest Names In Football As Of 2018-21 27

As hilarious as it may be sound, it’s actually not funny not to have seen his actual picture. Not just a critical bit of historical significance, Norman Conquest was also an Australian goalkeeper who played in the late 1940s.

He would most likely be a name yearned for by few explorers in the present era and the first owner was posthumously inducted into Australia’s Hall of Fame. However, the goalkeeper did not attempt to invade England.

Mahatma Gandhi Pires

15 Funniest Names In Football As Of 2018-21 28

This Brazilian footballer is not something out of the ordinary in a country where the game is worshipped. So what’s the big deal about him? You must be the change you wish to see in the world.

Danger Fourpence

15 Funniest Names In Football As Of 2018-21 29

Fourpence is a Zimbabwean player who plays for Kiglon Bird FC. He really does sound like a character from one of James Bond’s film: “The game is up Fourpence” (If you didn’t say that in Sean Connery’s voice then you are not my friend).

Unfortunately, he is better known for his funny name rather than his footballing abilities. Fourpence gets an extra bonus for being the best named among a team of staggering funny names.

Here are some of the funny names that featured in Fourpence’s team:

Cunning Muzuva, Raymond Undi, Blessing Makunike, Marvel Samaneka, Heavens Chinyama, Givemore Manuella, Gift Makolonio, Method Mwanyazi, Limited Chicafa, and Zambian Laughter Chilembe.

READ ALSO: Top 10 Ugliest Footballers As At 2016- 2017

Daniel Killer

15 Funniest Names In Football As Of 2018-21 30

Has there ever been a more menacing-sounding name than this defender from Argentina’s 1978 World Cup-winning side?

 

Have-A-Look-Dube

 

He played for the Njube Sundowns in Zimbabwe, excessively few parents would take the opportunity to get hyphens involved with their child’s name. Unless my pronunciation is off track, this must be the most tragic collaboration of names at any point concocted. No pictorial representation please Have-A-Look at the next one.

Johnny Mustache

15 Funniest Names In Football As Of 2018-21 31

Relax, this player is not a character from the early 90’s American crime film ‘Goodfellas‘ but rather he is the former captain of the Seychelles national team. According to reports, he is considered a legend of the East Africa country and I believe it’s not a direct result of his name.

Ars Bandeet

As far as anyone knows, Bandeet is an Algerian footballer in the 1970s, there is by all accounts thin confirmation of his existence but was certainly included in any case.

The two name choices are controversial and possibly that is the reason we are discussing them instead of discussing football abilities.

Mosquito

15 Funniest Names In Football As Of 2018-21 32

Buzzing around, and irritating opposition defenders… yep, I guess that’ll work. But whoever decided that this Brazilian Footballer should be known by such a name is both heartless and an absolute genius.

 

 

This post is not meant to hurt any sentiments

 

 

 

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3 Premier League Flops Who Made It Big Elsewhere

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3 Premier League Flops Who Made It Big Elsewhere

The English Premier League has welcomed some of the best players in the history of football. Players from different continents have made a huge impact on the league with impressive performances. There are others who failed to impress and can be termed as flops.

The League is quite unique from other European leagues. It is more competitive, fierce, physically challenging in nature. Needless to say, a player who isn’t mentally and physically geared up for this will stumble under the pressure.

Established stars can fall by the wayside with their former successes and triumphs becoming nothing more than a footnote in the EPL. Impressively, some of these players put in impressive performances when they moved to other leagues.

3 Premier League Flops Who Made It Big In Other Leagues

  • Paulinho

3 Premier League Flops Who Made It Big Elsewhere

Following the impending sale of Gareth Bale to Real Madrid, Tottenham bought several players, one of the players they bought was Paulinho.

Paulinho was signed from Corinthians in Brazil where he helped them win the Copa Libertadores, Brasileirao, and the FIFA Club World Cup.

They defeated Chelsea in the latter to lift the trophy. Importantly, he had just won the FIFA Confederations Cup with Brazil and was voted as the third-best player at the tournament.

He joined Tottenham as the club’s record signing in 2013, so a lot was expected of him. However, his performance was not as impressive as the club had envisaged. He was later sold to Guangzhou Evergrande in China at a loss.

The Brazilian’s transfer to the Chinese league resulted in a change of fortunes, as helped the club claim the Chinese league and the AFC Champions League title in his first season.

In the second, he was voted into the Chinese League team of the year in recognition of his performance. Also, he won the league, FA Cup, and Super Cup.

Although critics downplayed his performance, citing the standard of the Chinese league compared to the English league, Paulinho impressed in Spain too following a €40 million move to Barcelona.

Paulinho helped the club claim the league and the Copa del Rey trophy. His performance in his only season with Barcelona impressed Ronaldinho who said: “He really stood out.”

  • Iago Aspas

3 Premier League Flops Who Made It Big Elsewhere

Most Premier League fan remembers Aspas only as a Liverpool flop with the number 9 jersey. Aspas moved from boyhood club Celta Vigo to Liverpool for a deal estimated to be around £7.7 m, with Liverpool hoping to have unearthed a gem. However, that gem turns dregs, failing to score in any of his 14 league appearances.

After just one season, Liverpool decided that they have seen enough so they sent him on a season-long loan to Sevilla with an obligation to buy. In his season-long loan at the club, he was the joint top scorer in the Copa del Rey alongside Neymar with 7 goals and won the UEFA Europa League.

At the end of his season-long loan at Sevilla, the club signed him from Liverpool but sold him to Celta Vigo in the same transfer window. In every of his first 5 seasons at Celta Vigo, he scored in double digits.

In fact, in three of the 5 seasons, he won the Zarra Trophy awarded to the Spanish player with the most league goals in a season. As of December 2020, Aspas had won La Liga player of the month four times.

READ ALSO: 10 Premier League Players With Most Own Goals

  • Diego Forlan

3 Premier League Flops Who Made It Big Elsewhere

Perhaps, the most notable and interesting English Premier League flop who became a star in another League. He was not just impressive in another league; he was extraordinary with his National team Uruguay.

Sir Alex Ferguson signed Forlan in 2001 following the attacker’s impressive form at Independiente in Argentina. In his first season in England, Forlan made 18 appearances but failed to score a single goal. The two seasons after were not impressive either, hence his transfer to Villarreal.

Impressively, Forlan scored 25 league goals in his first season with Villarreal and won the league’s top scorers award (2004/05). Also, he was awarded the European Golden Shoe award alongside Thierry Henry the same year. He left the club two seasons later for Atletico with 59 goals scored in 128 matches.

In his second season with Atletico Madrid (2008/09), Forlan beat Samuel Eto’o to the Spanish league’s top scorer’s award. He scored 32 league goals in 33 league appearances that season which earned him the Pichichi trophy. Again, he won the European Golden Shoe but this time it was not shared with anyone.

The next season (2009/10), Forlan played a key role as Atletico won the Europa League. He scored six times in the tournament, including two in the 2-1 win over Fulham in the final. He was voted as the man of the match in the final.

With his national team, he was just as impressive; he scored the most goals at the 2010 FIFA World Cup alongside Thomas Muller, Wesley Sneijder, and David Villa.

Furthermore, he was voted into the FIFA World Cup dream team and won the Golden Ball and goal of the tournament title. By the time he retired, he was Uruguay’s highest goal scorer in history, a record which has since been broken by Luis Suarez.

Forlan eventually became so good that some Football fans think he is the caliber of player that could have won the Ballon d’Or.

 

Conclusion

There are several reasons why players struggle when they change clubs, especially to other countries. Culture, language, teammates, family are some factors that can affect their performances.

These 3 cases show that a player may fail to perform in one league but go on to become a star in another league.

 

 

 

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Top 15 Highest Paid Players In Ligue 1

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Top 15 Highest Paid Players In Ligue 1

Ligue 1 no doubt harbors quite a number of talented players, as such it’s quite understandable for those considered to be world-class players among them to cash out hugely on what they earn at the end of the month.

As of late, the players’ salaries have given indications of solid development, on account of the tremendous income pouring into the game. The fierce rivalry between the country’s top football clubs has brought the nature of the competition higher than ever. The league has more than its own fair share of highly paid players.

Here is a rundown of the top 15 highest-paid players in the Ligue 1

  • Neymar Jr – (Paris Saint Germain, – €3.06 Per Month )

Top 15 Highest Paid Players In Ligue 1

Behind Ronaldo and Messi, the Brazilian forward is regarded as the third-best player in world football since moving from Santos to Barcelona in 2013 for a deal reported worth €86.2million.

After apparently growing and widening his status as a footballer with his achievement on and off the pitch, it was evident that the former Puskas Award winner would go on to attract top elite clubs.

With the Parisian club brimming with a lot of cash to flex muscles with high spending clubs, it was just a matter of time before Neymar would join them. Fast forward to 2017, the Selecao captain signed for PSG for a world record transfer fee worth €222million, and since then he’s been an important figure of both the club and their project.

Amidst transfer rumors of him returning to his old home Barcelona, plus the fact that the Parisian are also ready to offer him a new deal that would tie him down with the French side for at least another three seasons.

  • Kylian Mbappe – (Paris Saint Germain, € 1.91m Per Month)

Top 15 Highest Paid Players In Ligue 1

As a World Cup winner and one of the best prospects in world football, it’s quite understandable for Mbappe to be among the highest-paid players in Ligue 1 and Paris Saint Germain. The 2018 World Cup winner burst into the scene as a young player for Monaco, making his professional debut in 2015 at the age of 15.

The Frenchman signed for the Parisian club in 2017 on loan, which was later made permanent in 2018. He has shown to be a great prospect for both the club and their project in dominating the Ligue 1 and also flex muscles with the top clubs in Europe.

His permanent transfer to Paris Saint Germain is reported to be worth €180million, making him both the second most expensive player and most expensive teenager. Since joining the Ligue 1 Champions permanently, the 22-year-old has scored over 120 goals for the Parisian club.

However, amidst the rumor of Real Madrid prepping up to break the bank in their quest to bring him down to the Bernabeu, the World Cup winner is still actively the second biggest earner in the league and of course Paris Saint Germain.

READ ALSO: Top 10 Highest Paid Premier League Players As Of 2020/21

  • Correa Marquinhos & Marco Verratti – (Paris Saint Germain, €1.2m Per Month)

Top 15 Highest Paid Players In Ligue 1

Since the departure of top players such as Edinson Cavani, Zlatan, and recently Thiago Silva, Marquinhos’s status has risen from being a mere squad player in the dressing room into a leader, captain, and one of the best gladiator of the club.

As a 19-year-old teenager, the Brazilian was signed in 2013 on a five-year deal by Paris Saint Germain from AS Roma for a fee of around €31.4million. And as reported by BBC Sport, the deal was said to be the highest transfer fee for a teenager then, while Sky also reports it to be the then fifth highest transfer.

The current form of the Brazilian makes him rank as one of Europe’s most valuable players, most especially as a player who is currently plying his trade with the best team in France.

According to the transfer market rating, Marquinhos market value currently stands at €70million, as such with his years of experience and playing over 313 matches for the Parisian, it’s no surprise that the club captain takes home €1.2m per month tied with the Italian on the same amount.

Veratti

As for the Italian, he’s also been a very instrumental player for the team since joining the club nine years ago. There have always been rumors concerning his future, either joining Barcelona or go back to Italy, but as it stands his current contract with Paris Saint Germain would expire in 2024.

  • Angel Di Maria – (Paris Saint Germain, €1.1m Per Month)

Top 15 Highest Paid Players In Ligue 1

Since joining the Parisian for €63million after a disappointing stint with Manchester United in 2015, the Argentine winger has continued to prove to the world that he’s still one of the best players in football since leaving Real Madrid.

Di Maria isn’t just rank among the highest earner for doing nothing, he earns his pay through his brilliant performances over the years since joining them, accumulating a total of 251 appearances scoring over 88 goals and 104 assists.

The former Real Madrid winger may not stay in the Ligue 1 with Paris Saint Germain for three years or more, as he’s already moving close to the end of his career. However, with his deal still running that makes him the fourth-highest earner in the league.

  • Keylor Navas – (Paris Saint Germain, €1m Per Month)

Top 15 Highest Paid Players In Ligue 1

When Navas joined Madrid from Levante in the summer of 2014, no one ever thought he’s going to achieve quite a number of success with Los Blancos based on where he was coming from and his antecedent as a goalkeeper.

After a successful stint with Los Merengues, the imminent arrival of Thibaut Courtois means the Costa Rican goalkeeper days at Real Madrid are numbered.

With his achievement at Real Madrid, it was evident that the Costa Rican won’t find it hard to get good European suitor to come by, as such Paris Saint Germain came calling for his services in 2019 having been told he won’t be Real Madrid number one going forward into the new season.

Following Navas’s move to the French capital, it means his salary would be on the high side based on his achievement and reputation as a Champions League winner with arguably the biggest club in Europe.

As a Paris Saint Germain player, he earns €1m per month, making the Costa Rican one of the highest-paid players in Ligue 1

READ ALSO: 10 Richest Club Owners In World Football

  • Mauro Icardi – (Paris Saint Germain, €800,000 Per Month)

Top 15 Highest Paid Players In Ligue 1

The imminent departure of El Matador when Icardi joined Paris Saint Germain on loan means the responsibility of goalscoring would be on the shoulder of the Argentine. The former Inter Milan forward made his loan permanent with the PSG following a strong start in Paris.

The Argentine and controversy certainly go hand in hand based on his antecedent with his previous clubs. Everywhere he goes he has always shown he could lead the line perfectly, and since he joined the Parisian permanently no report of controversy has been recorded concerning the former Nerazzurri captain.

Icardi may not be the poster boy of PSG just like his days at Inter, that doesn’t make him less of a player in the dressing room among other star players like Neymar and Mbappe who are no doubt the face of the club.

  • Leandro Paredes – (Paris Saint Germain, €750,000 Per Month)
    Juan Bernat – (Paris Saint Germain, €700,000 Per Month)
    Presnel Kimpembe – (Paris Saint Germain, €670,000 Per Month)
    Ander Herrera – (Paris Saint Germain, €650,000 Per Month)
    Wissam Ben Yedder – (Monaco, €650,000 Per Month)
    Cesc Fabregas – (Monaco, €600,000 Per Month)
    Julian Draxler – (Paris Saint Germain, €600,000 Per Month)
    Idrissa Guaye – (Paris Saint Germain, €500,000 Per Month)

 

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