15 Funniest Names In Football (Soccer) As Of 2018-24

Which player do you think has the funniest name in football?

Sometimes, we feel happy with our own names. Personally, I feel comfort in the name I have. But in soccer, there are players who could argue that their names are so unusual that it’s like they were given strange names as kids.

However, despite their odd names, they have become somewhat famous or even infamous.

This is surely true in the world of funny soccer names, where there is a delicate balance between funny and boldness from parents.

These players, without knowing it, become the center of attention not just because of their skills in the game, but because their names have become part of football’s unique language.

Let’s enjoy this quirkiness because it adds some fun to the beautiful game we all love.

This article was first published on February 26, 2018, just bringing it back to the audience, june 12 2023

 15 Funniest Names in Soccer

Though it may not be seen as smart or classy to find funny names amusing, there’s no denying that they can make us smile for no apparent reason.

So, let’s have some fun and check out a list of these funniest soccer players’ names to see if any of them make you laugh.

And who knows, you might even get inspired to create your own clever and playful name while we’re at it.

1. Daley Blind

Dutch and Ajax defender Daley Blind is nothing compared to his name as he has struggled hard to secure a starting line-up under Jose Mourinho’s Manchester United.

Some might argue that his struggles stem from his exceptional ability to foresee and counter the moves of average opponents.

However, we playfully wonder if there are moments when his outstanding skills are overshadowed by a hint of literal blindness.

2. Danny Drinkwater

The Premier League introduced drink breaks in 2015, and the Internet couldn’t get enough of this exceptionally thirsty former Chelsea player.

Thinking of getting a fitness trainer?  This midfielder always reminds us all to stay hydrated.

3. Dean Whitehead

Whitehead is an English footballer who plays as a midfielder for Huddersfield Town. His surname ( Whitehead ) has made him more prevalent than his professional career.

Next time, if your abilities don’t make you famous just change your name to an amusing one.

READ ALSO: Top 10 Most Decorated Players In Football

4. Fabian Assman

Fabian, the former Argentine goalie, has an evident fondness for his given name.

And one must admit, his name seems remarkably fitting for his position.

After all, in matters of preference, including those of a more intimate nature, it’s commonly understood that everyone has their own unique tastes and sexual preference, right?

5. Bongo Christ

Forget Jesus Christ, because there’s a new name making waves: Bongo Christ.

This Congolese striker has left his mark on various clubs, from Hannover 96 to SV Wilhelmshaven. Remember, when you find yourself trembling in fear, simply utter the name ‘Bongo,’ and watch your worries dissipate into thin air.

6. Rat

Răzvan Dincă Raț is a Romanian Rat, oh sorry, a footballer who plays for the Spanish club Rayo Vallecano as a left-back.

He doesn’t move like a rodent, nor have a keen sense of smell to sniff dirty kits, don’t know why he is called that.

7. John Dick

Johnny Don’t be a dick! Well, this is extraordinarily amusing, John played more than 250 games for Arsenal during the mid-1900s.

In an extremely well-known article, a daily newspaper in London printed the headline saying “ARSENAL TO PLAY TOMORROW WITH DICKS OUT“.

As hilarious as it might sound, it went ahead to be a huge joke, which wasn’t forgotten for a long time!

8. Norman Conquest

While it may prompt a chuckle, it’s true that the absence of an actual picture can dampen the humor.

Moving on to a figure of historical significance, the Norman Conquest was not only a major event in history but also the name of an Australian goalkeeper who graced the soccer scene in the late 1940s.

Although one might imagine the name Norman Conquest to be sought after by adventurous explorers in the present day, it holds a different association for football fans.

The first owner of this name was posthumously honored with induction into Australia’s Hall of Fame, a testament to his skill and impact.

It is worth noting, however, that this goalkeeper did not attempt any ambitious invasion of England akin to the historical Norman Conquest.

9. Mahatma Gandhi Pires

In a country like Brazil, where football is practically a religion, it’s not uncommon to come across talented players. So what sets this particular Brazilian footballer apart from the rest?

Well, as the saying goes, “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.”

This enigmatic player embodies that spirit of change, standing out not just for his skills on the pitch, but for his commitment to making a difference beyond the game.

Perhaps it’s his involvement in charitable initiatives, advocating for social causes, or using his platform to inspire others.

Whatever it may be, this player exemplifies the notion that true greatness extends beyond the boundaries of the football field.

10. Danger Fourpence

Fourpence, the Zimbabwean player who once graced the ranks of Kiglon Bird FC, certainly carries a name that could easily belong to a character straight out of a James Bond film: “The game is up, Fourpence!” (And if you didn’t say that in Sean Connery’s iconic voice, well, we might need to reevaluate our friendship).

However, it is unfortunate that Fourpence’s footballing abilities have taken a back seat to the hilarity of his name.

In a team brimming with comically captivating names, Fourpence stands out as the champion, earning an extra bonus for being the undisputed leader in the realm of amusing appellations. While his name may bring a smile to many faces, one can’t help but wonder if it overshadows the recognition he deserves for his skills on the pitch.

Here are some of the funny names that are featured in Fourpence’s team:

Cunning Muzuva, Raymond Undi, Blessing Makunike, Marvel Samaneka, Heavens Chinyama, Givemore Manuella, Gift Makolonio, Method Mwanyazi, Limited Chicafa, and Zambian Laughter Chilembe.

READ ALSO: Top 10 Ugliest Footballers As At 2016- 2017

11. Daniel Killer

When it comes to menacing-sounding names, few can rival the defender from Argentina’s victorious 1978 World Cup team.

This player’s name strikes fear into the hearts of opponents, leaving them trembling at the mere mention of it.

Just imagine a scene where the crowd roars as the commentator announces his name with a touch of fear. The opposition quivers as they face this formidable defender, whose name alone feels like a thunderous roar echoing across the stadium.

12. Have-A-Look-Dube

There is a player from the past who stands out with a name that could be considered quite tragic.

In an era where parents carefully choose their children’s names, this particular player’s name seems like an unfortunate collaboration of ill-fitting elements.

It’s clear that this player’s name is a unique blend that might make one question the thought process behind it.

No pictorial representation please Have-A-Look at the next one.

13. Johnny Mustache

Be rest assured, this player is not a character from the classic early 90s American crime film ‘Goodfellas,’ but rather a notable figure who served as the former captain of the Seychelles national team.

According to reports, he has earned the status of a legend in his home country in East Africa.

It’s safe to assume that his esteemed reputation is not solely due to his name but rather his success and contributions on the football pitch.

14. Ars Bandeet

As far as the records go, there is mention of a player named Bandit who hailed from Algeria and played football during the 1970s.

However, concrete evidence of his existence remains scarce, making it a subject of intrigue and speculation.

It is worth noting that the choice of names, both “Bandit” & “Ars” and the associated controversy surrounding it, has overshadowed discussions of his footballing abilities.

Instead of going into his skills on the pitch, we find ourselves captivated by the curious nature of his name choices.

15. Mosquito

Buzzing around, and irritating opposition defenders… yep, I guess that’ll work.

But whoever decided that this Brazilian Footballer should be known by such a name is both heartless and an absolute genius.

CHECK OUT OUR DAILY PREDICTIONS

This post is not meant to hurt any sentiments

FAQ

What are some soccer nicknames?

• Roberto Baggio – The Divine Ponytail
• Sir Stanley Matthews ? …
• Andoni Goikoetxea – The Butcher of Bilbao.
• Sergio Aguero – Kun.
• Givanildo Vieira De Souza – Hulk.
• Ole Gunnar Solskjaer? Baby Assassin
• Lionel Messi – La Pulga
• Pele (Edson Arantes do Nascimento)

What is the best name in football?

• John Conner.
• Rocky Boiman.
• Tiki Barber.
• Pierre Garcon.
• Chris Fuamatu-Ma’afala.
• Prince Amukamara.
• Guy Whimper.
• Halapoulivaati Vaitai.

What are the coolest names?

50 cool boy names: Alden. Atticus. August. Beckett. Bowie. Brooks. Byron. Calvin. Chance. Cormac. Dashiell. Dexter. Easton. Edison. Elvis. Fitzgerald. Fox. Gus. …
50 cool girl names: Alma. Anais. Bea. Beatrix. Birdie. Briar. Brooklyn. Calliope. Calypso. Cora. Dixie. Eloise. Esme. Everly. Harlow. Harper. Hazel. Ione.

Who has the weirdest name in the NFL?

• D’Brickashaw Ferguson.
• Greedy Williams- Cleveland Browns.
• Prince Tega Wanogho- Kansas City Chiefs.
• JuJu Smith-Schuster- Pittsburgh Steelers.
• Rock Ya-Sin- Indianapolis Colts.
• Equanimeous St. Brown- Green Bay Packers.
• Ndamukong Suh – Tampa Bay Bucaneers.

Who has the longest name in the world?

The longest personal name is 747 characters long, and belongs to Hubert Blaine Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff Sr. (b. 4 August 1914, Germany) who passed away on 24 October 1997, in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania USA, as verified on 1 January 2021

Who is the craziest soccer player?

• Roy Keane. Perhaps the most aggressive footballer in history.
• Oliver Kahn.
• Eric Cantona.
• Joey Barton.
• Paul Gascoigne.
• Pepe.
• Rene Higuita.
• Stefan Effenber.

Who has the longest name in soccer?

Cameron Borthwick-Jackson has longest name. He equals Kevin Theophile-Catherine and Jan Vennegoor of Hesselink.

Who has the longest club name in football?

The longest name in the English league is my team Brighton and Hove albion with 21 letters. However Borussia Monchengladbach, of the Bundesleage is 23 letters.

What is the weirdest football team name?

• Insurance Management Bears, Bahamas.
• Portman Kunis United, USA.
• Eleven Men In Flight, Swaziland.
• 4.25 Sports Team, North Korea.
• Taumata FC, New Zealand.
• FL Fart, Norway.
• Deportivo Wanka, Peru.
• Deportivo Moron, Argentina.

What is the longest name for a Greek god?

Tlahuizcalpantecuhtli was the twin/dual deity of the planet Venus, as Morning Star (Quetzalcóatl) and Evening Star (Xólotl).

What are some good FIFA names?

• Giroud Sandstorm.
• Pjanic at the Isco.
• Man Chest Hair United.
• Pique Blinders.
• Dukes of Hazard.
• Giroud Let The Dogs Out.
• The Ninja Skrtels.
• Krul And The Gang.

What should I name my Fifa 22 Club?

• Rice Rice Baby.
• Boy steel rios
• Can’t louse.
• Scholes’ Toes.
• Baked Baines.
• Lie Yawn
• Tie Gahs
• Ospina Colada.
• Two’s Kompany.
• Citizen Kane.
• Ayew Serious.
• Day em it.

Can i edit player names in FIFA 22?

You can’t. You can’t edit kit names in FIFA. If you’re referring to a youth player in your career mode who seems to have their first name on their shirt in error, that’s a bug which is already fixed in the upcoming first patch.

Is FIFA 22 cross platform?

The cross-play feature allows you to play FIFA 22 with a friend on another platform or climb the Online Seasons Division against players from other platforms. EA has decided to limit the test to two modes so that cross-play will not introduce new bugs to the game

Can i change my club name in FIFA 22?

Players can only change their FIFA 22 Ultimate Team Club name once, so they will want to be sure it’s a name worth keeping around. Additionally, it’s best to keep Ultimate Team club names void of any profanity or offensive terminology, as EA may make players rename their club team again.

Is FIFA 23 going to be free?

Will FIFA 23 be Free to Play? FIFA 23 is NOT free to play – despite some speculation suggesting otherwise. This was confirmed by EA following the trailer release on the 20th of July 2022.

Is FIFA 23 the last FIFA?

What comes after FIFA 23? FIFA 23 will be the last game in the series bearing the FIFA name. In May 2022, EA Sports confirmed in an official blog post (opens in new tab) that after 30 years it will be ending its partnership with FIFA. From 2023 onwards, the series will be known as EA Sports FC.

How do I change my name on FIFA 22 Mobile?

Unfortunately it isn’t possible to change your name in FIFA Mobile.

How do I change my fut21 team name?

In order to change a club name, you should navigate the Objectives menu as you’ll usually get a small reward as part of ‘The Basics’ set. To find ‘The Basics’ set, head to the Foundations tab. Once you’ve found your way there, you should see an objective called ‘Change Club Name’.

Who has the fastest hat trick in the history of football?

In 2015, Mane did not just open the scoring against Aston Villa in the 13th minute, but also scored two more within three minutes, registering his hat-trick within 16 minutes. He completed his hat-trick in an incredible time of two minutes and 56 seconds, with Southampton winning that game 6-1 on May 15, 2015.

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