Who are the Top Ugliest soccer players?
Soccer is genuinely a thing of beauty, that is until the point when you meet its ugly side, money can’t help these players. But to the extent their aesthetic is concerned – It truly doesn’t make a difference if players are ugly, especially if they have skills. Some of these ugliest footballers are weird looking and some are straight-up ugly.
While CheapGoals certainly don’t make a propensity for judging players by their looks, this is a fascinating idea.
This article was first written on Mar 11 2018 and updated on May 08, 2023
Ugliest Soccer Players
Soccer teams place a lot of importance on players’ image, as football is becoming more intertwined with commercial and product promotion where brand imaging is crucial.
Unfortunately, due to their physical appeal, these players are not the best image brand for these kinds of marketing.
However, this does not imply that they failed to succeed in the game. Contrarily, a few of these players have progressed in their respective teams because of their exceptional talents.
They are not particularly attractive, but the soccer world loves and adores them.
10. Joleon Lescott
It’s no secret that Lescott’s head is larger than life, and the scar that resembles bad art doesn’t exactly help his case.
But he’s making a living playing soccer, so I don’t think he’s too worried about being a walking masterpiece.
9. Martin Skrtel
The man with a face that could scare off even the bravest of opponents. It’s like he escaped from an old horror movie and ended up on the football pitch.
But let’s not just judge a book by its cover. Skrtel may not have been the best defender for Liverpool, but he certainly knew how to give their fans a good scare. And if nightmares were a currency, he would have made his fans rich.
Skrtel’s face may not have been the most attractive sight, but at least he had some killer defending skills to compensate.
His reputation as a tough defender will be etched in Premier League history, just like his rugged features are forever etched in our minds.
8. Di Maria
Di Maria’s face may not be as smooth as his silky skills on the pitch, but that doesn’t stop him from being one of the most entertaining players to watch in football.
His brooding face gives him a certain charm, though it’s hard to tell if he’s disappointed or just perpetually constipated.
And let’s not forget those long pointy ears that make him look like he’s auditioning for the role of a Fulani herdsman.
7. Phil Stamp
With a body shape that could rival a giant beach ball and a face that only a mother would love, Phil left his memorable “stamp” on the soccer field by consistently delivering top-notch performances.
However, his habit of sliding around the pitch like a penguin on ice might explain some of his occasional mishaps.
6. Phil Jones
Phil Jones’ face is like a canvas that Picasso took a shotgun to.
The mere act of defending is enough to transform his facials into something that looks like it’s been through a blender.
His face is so oddly shaped that he could easily pass for Wayne Rooney’s long-lost brother, if not for the tomato resemblance. And when he’s making a tackle, he looks like he’s auditioning for a role in a comedy movie with those hilarious facial expressions.
He’s a permanent resident on the list of the ugliest soccer players, and honestly, it’s harder to imagine him not being on it.
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5. Héctor Herrera
Talking about the ugliest soccer players, Herrera has an unmistakable ugly look and stands out from a group picture for evident reasons, but any reasonable person would agree Herrera has taken advantage of what God has given him.
The teeth, the hairstyle, and even at one phase dodgy ears make this player an unusual man to take a look at.
4. Iain Dowie & Hameur Bouazza
Iain Dowie’s face during his playing days was so distinctive that it could have easily landed him a role as the ugly and dim-witted sidekick in a comedy movie.
His face looks like it has put in more overtime than a workaholic accountant, and it’s not exactly the type that would have young children running up to him for a hug
Hameur Bouazza: If you’re looking for a player who stands out from the crowd, look no further than this Algerian midfielder.
His head shape is a little more angular than most, giving him a bit of a “triangular” look. And his nose? It’s practically its own zip code.
But it’s his ears that really steal the show. They’re so big, they could double as satellite dishes for a small village. In fact, they’re so impressive, we wouldn’t be surprised if someone accidentally mistook him for the FA Cup trophy.
But, when you’re this talented on the field, who needs conventional good looks?
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3. Aristide Bance
A likable soul who evidently hit each branch of the ugly tree on his way down.
With a face, only a visually impaired mother with burnt-off fingertips could love, it is said God discarded the mold when he made the Burkina Faso player. Inspired by a paranoid fear of repeating the slip-up.
2. Scott Gemmill
Scott Gemmill’s usual face looks like he just stumbled upon a cow patty and took a big whiff.
Not exactly the most attractive look, but, at least it’s better than catching them mid-sneeze with snot flying everywhere
Gemmill might make the list of top ugliest soccer players but could also be a top contender for a part in the movie “The Walking Dead“, complete with a pointy nose, gloomy cheeks, and graveled face of a man who has lived the life of stress and tension.
1. Luke Chadwick
This former Manchester United player is proof that good looks don’t always score a goal.
His facial features are quite remarkable, with cheekbones that could give the Grand Canyon a run for its money and teeth that are on the smaller side, making baby corn look like a full-grown cob.
But it’s his ears that truly steal the show. They’re so impressive, they could even make Prince Charles’s ears seem a bit average in comparison
It’s safe to say that Chadwick’s external beauty is more of an acquired taste, like a rare delicacy that only a few can truly appreciate.
